Saturday, January 10, 2009
*sigh* marry now or marry later
So me and the H2B have been going back and forth about when and how we want to do the whole wedding thing. Initially we wanted to wait, maybe until beginning of 2010, so we can save up and have a shindig that both our parents and families would be happy about. As of right now, he's looking for work (lost his job a while ago due to illness - he's better now Alhamdulillah but the job market is not so good where we live) and I am looking for a better job. One of his family friends insists that we should marry as soon as possible but we're both very concerned about finances. In fact we were told that it is unIslamic to wait until our money situation is better. His friend says that we should get married and put our trust fully into Allah and pray that we will have all the things we need. Grr I just don't know. I know the wedding doesn't have to be extravagant (although his culture kind of calls for opulence) and we don't neccessarily want to have a huge, expensive wedding. In fact we were talking about doing nikah at either his house or the masjid with just family and close close friends and then having a bigger valima - maybe renting a hall and having a nice sit down dinner and inviting more guests. But we also want to have money so we can live you know. I don't know what to do...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I'm not in favour of big fancy weddings. There are so many better things you could spend the money on, and they are so stressful. Just my opinion.
Salaams.
As for the part about it being unIslamic to hold off marriage, this is true. Same thing goes for holding off having a baby. This is because you're supposed to trust Allah SWT to take care of you. Anyway I say do the hard thing and forget about what his culture calls for. Have your wedding if the only thing that was holding you back was finances, as this is unIslamic as mentioned, and just eliminate the big wedding that mad the financial thing a problem probably in the first place. May Allah SWT reward you both with a beautiful wedding and lovely life together, ameen.
Your idea of nikkah at masjid and a larger walima is just what me and my hubby did... nikkah was on Friday after prayers and went home to a few family & friends for lunch at my home and my walima was the next day- and it was wonderful! To me, better than any 100K wedding!
Especially in this economy, my suggestion even if you manage to get the money, save it for something else!
I think you should just get married officially. Don't postpone any longer because Syaitaan can take advantage of the situation.
Just my opinion.
Inshallah ya'll will work it all out! It might be best to just go ahead and get married, IMHO. Have the walima later....like everyone else already said. :-)
Yep Deffo - Im kinda in a simillar situation - except my concern is finishing off UNI - Ive got one year and a half left to go :(! Plus the whole cultural barrier with the parents need to get worked out too :( !!I totally understand your predicament! :(
Hey Sis -- you and your husband to be should just go ahead and get married! Culture and religion are two different things...just get married. The most important thing is that you two are together and trust me...Allah will give you what he thinks you need to make it as a married couple...not what you think you need. Insallah sis, everything will work out! That I can promise you!
Post a Comment