So Who Am I?

Sometimes I don't even know how to answer that question. I also suppose it depends on who you ask. Certainly who I am to my family, to my friends, to my coworkers, to my old college roomies, to my clients at work, to strangers, to well whoever, I'm slightly different. I barely know where to begin.

I've toyed around with the thought of creating a blog for the past few months. There's been alot on my mind, a ton of questions!!!, that the people I know just don't seem to understand. So here I am opening myself up to the world of bloggers hoping that I can find some insight.

I suppose I should begin from the beginning (it's a very good place to start hahaha - I know you guys must know The Sound of Music. I'm cheesy, what can I say). My mom is Christian and my dad is Muslim. Phew. It's out there. And so begins everything that has lead me to where I am today. My parents got divorced when I was five. I was raised by my mother in the church. I was a faithful member to some extent. I mean I went to church every Sunday. I was in the youth group. I went to Bible study. I was in the choir and the dance group. So outwardly I suppose that one would see me as into my religion and my faith but on internally, on the other hand, not so much. I sort of have always felt outside the religious teachings of the church. I had friends at church so that was always a plus about going but there wasn't much else for me. Church was simply a social activity. I didn't extend my religous learnings to the home. We didn't talk about religion at home. I think the only Bible that I read at home was one of the children's Bibles with the pictures. I liked the whole story of Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat (I saw the play and loved it) and so I used to read that over and over and over again. But that was it. I watched my church friends get so emotional about the Christian faith (crying, catching the "Holy Ghost") and I never felt that way. I wanted to but I couldn't make it happen. I fell more and more away from the church as I got older. By the time I was in college, I was sort of apathetic towards religion. I joined the gospel choir in an attempt to connect but still never felt quite right.

I graduated from college and started my first job and it seems that's where things started to change for me. One of my coworkers was an imam at a local masjid. He was also training me for the job. As you can imagine we talked about my background. I mentioned that my father was Muslim and he instantly became more interested. He asked me what I knew about Islam. Not much. My coworker decided that I should know at least the basics of the religion. He said it was my legacy. I believe that everything changed at that point...

To make a long story short, I have become more and more intrigued by Islam. It's the most beautiful religion I have been exposed to me. It's logical and pure and tolerant. I feel a connection to Islam.

I have yet to take my shahada, officially, although I believe in my heart I took it long ago. I attend the masjid regularly, attempt to make my five daily prayers, I've been trying to wear hijab ( or at least some type of head covering and modest clothing), I've been trying to become active with the local masjid. I've been studying Qu'ran and learning some ahadith. It's a slow process but I'm getting there, step by step.

This blog is just a way for me to voice some of the things that are on my mind and that questions that I have and a way to track the progress that I make. InshaAllah, I'm on the right path...